Can’t Handle It – Bill Maher Stops By San Antonio

Can’t Handle It – Bill Maher Stops By San Antonio

Laurie Auditorium – San Antonio, TX
By PunkSoda – Saturday, April 12, 2014

Normally I’m listening to and talking about music, but Bill Maher came to town last night and it was a hilarious break.  Maher walked out on to the dark wooden stage with black curtains and was greeted by a standing-o crowd. The theme music to “Real Time” on HBO played in the background and Maher jumped in by describing Texas as “a cool place surrounded by rednecks”.

The basic premise of the night was that republicans and conservatives can’t handle the change in the world and don’t know how to deal with it. From the election of the first black president to gays in the military and the NFLMaher went talking point by talking point, down the list of typical hot topics and ripped apart the GOP stance. He talked about everything from the IRS & Benghazi faux scandals, to women’s issues and animal rights.

With steep prices ranging up to over $100, the limousine liberals of San Antonio most definitely turned out for Maher’s appearance. The laughter in the Laurie was mixed with the mostly older crowd shuffling in their seats during some of the more provocative jokes. Mentions of Rick Perry, Ted Nugent or Marco Rubio drew boos and hisses from the crowd. Bill talked about his ridiculous lawsuit with Donald Trump and he took some jabs at Ted Cruz. The crowd was pretty good, as it seemed pretty informed of the buzziest current events.

Bill took a second to talk about how he enjoyed the new Pope, joking that “Frank’s” real name, Jorge Bergoglio, sounded like a fancy designer shoe.  One applause line I thought was relevant to San Antonio, was when Maher mentioned a specific group of voters the GOP really alienated: millennials. Citing republican stances like denying climate change and creationism as core reasons why young people typically don’t align with the Republicans. The drama queens, he said, can’t handle science and the fact that young people won’t be fooled by their myths.

“If conservatives get to call universal health care “socialized medicine,” I get to call private, for-profit health care “soulless vampire bastards making money off human pain. The profit motive, is what sustains capitalism. Yes, and our sex drive is what sustains the human species, but we don’t try to fuck everything. Here in America, you’re not coughing up blood… you’re coughing up freedom”


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April 13th, 2014